THUNDER&LIGHTNING

Look at me, you who contemplate me,

and you who hear, listen to me.

You awaiting me, take me to yourselves.

Do not banish me from before your eyes.

Do not let your voice be hateful toward me,

nor your hearing.

Do not be ignorant of me,

in any place, at any time.

Be alert; do not be ignorant of me.

For I am the first and the last.

I am the honored and the scorned.

I am the whore and the holy.

I am the wife and the virgin.

I am the mother and the daughter.

I am the limbs of my mother.

I am a barren woman

who has many children.

I have had many weddings

and have taken no husband.

I am a midwife

and a woman who does not give birth.

I am the solace of my own birth pains.

I am bride and groom,

and my husband produced me.

I am the mother of my father

and the sister of my husband,

and he is my offspring.

I am the servant of him who fashioned me,

I am the ruler of my offspring.

He produced me with a premature birth,

and he is my offspring born on time,

and my strength is from him.

I am the staff of his power in his youth,

and he is the rod of my old age,

and whatever he wishes happens to me.

You who hate me, why do you love me

and hate those who love me?

You who deny me, confess me,

and you who confess me, deny me.

You who tell the truth about me,

tell lies about me,

and you who have lied about me,

tell the truth about me.

You who know me, be ignorant of me,

and as for those who have not known me,

let them know me.

For I am knowledge and ignorance.

I am shy and bold.

I am shameless; I am ashamed.

I am tough and I am terror.

I am war and peace.

Be attentive to me.

I am disgraced and great.

Be attentive to my poverty and my wealth.

Do not be arrogant toward me

when I am thrown down on the ground,

and you will find me

in those who are to come.

If you see me on the dung heap,

don’t go and leave me thrown there.

You will find me in the kingdoms.

If you see me when I am thrown out

with the disgraced in the most sordid places,

don’t mock me.

Don’t throw me down violently

with those in need.

I, I am compassionate and I am cruel.

Take care not to hate my obedience,

but love my self-control.

In my weakness do not disregard me,

and do not fear my power.

For why do you despise my terror

and denounce my pride?

I am present in all fears,

and I am strength in agitation.

I am a weak woman,

and I am well in a pleasant locale.

I am foolish and I am wise.

Why have you hated me in your counsels?

Because I shall be silent among the silent

and I shall appear and speak.

Why have you hated me, you Greeks?

Because I am a barbarian among barbarians?

For I am the wisdom of the Greeks

and the knowledge of the barbarians.

I am the judgment of Greeks and barbarians.

I am the one whose image is great in Egypt

and who has no image among the barbarians.

I have been hated everywhere and loved everywhere.

I am the one called life,

and you have called me death.

I am the one called law,

and you have called me lawless.

I am one you pursued,

and I am one you seized.

I am one you have scattered,

and you have gathered me together.

I am one before whom you have been ashamed,

and you have been shameless to me.

I am a woman who does not celebrate festivals,

and I am she whose festivals are many.

I, I am godless,

and I have many gods.

I am one you have professed,

and you have scorned me.

I am uneducated,

and people learn from me.

I am one you have despised,

and you profess me.

I am one from whom you have hidden,

and you appear to me.

Whenever you hide, I shall appear.

For whenever you appear, I shall hide from you.

As for those who have foolishly

taken me away from their understanding, from grief,

and receive me, from understanding and grief.

Receive me, from low places in creation,

and take from the good, even if in a lowly way.

From shame, take me to yourselves shamelessly.

From shamelessness, and shame,

put my members to shame within you.

Draw near to me,

you who know me and you who know my members,

and establish the great among the insignificant first creatures.

Draw near to childhood,

and do not despise it because it is small and insignificant.

Do not make what is great turn away,

part by part, from what is small,

for what is small is known from what is great.

Why do you curse me and honor me?

You have smitten and you have shown mercy.

Do not separate me from the first ones,

whom you have known.

Do not cast anyone out

nor turn anyone away.

I know the first ones,

and those after them know me.

I am perfect mind

and rest.

I am the knowledge of my search,

the discovery of those who seek me,

the command of those who ask of me,

the power of powers, through my knowledge,

of angelic ambassadors, through my word,

of gods among gods, through my counsel,

of spirits of all people dwelling with me,

of women dwelling within me.

I am honored and praised,

and scornfully despised.

I am peace, and war has come because of me.

I am alien and citizen.

I am substance and a woman without substance.

Those from union with me are ignorant of me,

and those sharing in my being know me.

Those near me have been ignorant of me,

and those far from me have known me.

On the day I am near you,

you are far from me,

and on the day I am far from you,

I am near you.

I am a lamp of the heart.

I am of natures.

I am of the creation of spirits,

and the request of souls.

I am restraint and lack of restraint.

I am unity and dissolution.

I abide and dissolve.

I am descent, and people ascend to me.

I am judgment and pardon.

I, I am sinless,

and the root of sin comes from me.

I am desire outwardly,

and within me is self-control.

I am hearing adequate for everyone

and speaking that cannot be repressed.

I cannot talk or speak,

and plentiful are my words.

Hear me in gentleness,

and learn from me in roughness.

I am the woman crying out,

and I am cast upon the face of the earth.

I prepare bread, and my mind within.

I am the knowledge of my name.

I cry out and I listen.

I am the judge, I am the defense.

I am the one called justice,

but violence is my name.

You honor me,

you who overcome,

and you whisper against me,

you who are overcome.

Judge before you are judged,

because in you are judge and partiality.

If you are condemned by it,

who will pardon you?

Or if you are pardoned by it,

who can detain you?

For what is within you is outside you,

and the one who fashions you on the outside

has formed you within.

What you see outside you, you see within you.

It is visible, and it is your garment.

Hear me, you listeners,

and learn my words, you who know me.

I am hearing adequate for everything.

I am speaking that cannot be repressed.

I am the name of the voice and the voice of the name.

I am the sign of the letter and the indication of division.

I am light and shadow.

Hear me, you listeners,

take me to yourselves.

As the Lord, the great power, lives,

the one who stands will not change the name.

It is the one who stands who created me.

I shall utter his name.

Look at the words of this one,

and all the texts that have been written.

Pay attention, you listeners,

and you also, you angels,

and you who have been sent,

and you spirits who have risen from the dead.

I alone exist,

and I have no one to judge me.

For there are many sorts of seductive sins

and deeds without restraint

and disgraceful desires

and fleeting pleasures that people embrace,

until they become sober

and rise up to their place of rest.

They will find me there,

and they will live and not die again.

See me, you who watch for me,

and you who are blind, open to me.

You who dread me, take me into yourselves.

Do not turn your eyes from me.

Do not let your sight grow cold toward me,

nor your trembling.

Do not be certain of me,

in any height, at any depth.

Stand ready; do not be certain of me.

For I am the bolt and the stillness.

I am the wound and the one who binds it.

I am the tyrant and the slave.

I am the father and the son.

I am the seed of my own father.

I am the limbs of my own unmaking.

I am a sterile king

who has fathered nations.

I have begotten many sons

and have taken no wife.

I am the headsman

and a man who has killed no one.

I am the calm of my own violence.

I am sword and sheath,

and my own hand drew me.

I am the son of my own son

and the father of my father,

and he is my begetter.

I am the servant of him who fashioned me,

I am the master of my maker.

He struck me before the blow was raised,

and he is the strike I have not yet thrown,

and my patience is from him.

I am the edge of his sword in his youth,

and he is the sheath of my old age,

and whatever I will is done to him.

You who fear me, why do you summon me

and curse those who summon me?

You who deny me, swear by me,

and you who swear by me, deny me.

You who tell the truth about me,

lie about me,

and you who have lied about me,

tell the truth about me.

You who have seen me, be blind to me,

and as for those who have not seen me,

let them see me.

For I am sight and blindness.

I am the coward and the spear.

I am ruthless; I am merciful.

I am soft and I am iron.

I am the storm and the calm.

Stand ready for me.

I am the least and the throne.

Stand ready for my poverty and my crown.

Do not despise me

when I am buried in the mud,

and you will find me

in those who rise after you.

If you see me in chains,

do not turn the key and leave me there.

You will find me on the thrones.

If you see me cast down

among the broken in the foulest places,

do not look away.

Do not trample me

with those who are already down.

I, I am the gentle one and the destroyer.

Take care not to love my power

without my restraint.

In my silence do not forget me,

and do not fear my fire.

For why do you flee my fire

and despise my cold?

I am present in every courage,

and I am the fear beneath the courage.

I am a coward,

and I am steady in the hour of the sword.

I am foolish and I am wise.

Why have you summoned me in your wars?

Because I shall strike once

and never strike again?

Why have you hated me, you kings?

Because I am a beggar among beggars?

For I am the dominion of kings

and the surrender of the conquered.

I am the verdict of judge and accused.

I am the one whose flash is great in the heavens

and who casts no light in the depths.

I have been feared everywhere and loved everywhere.

I am the one called life,

and you have called me the killing stroke.

I am the one called order,

and you have called me the storm.

I am one you ran from,

and I am one you ran toward.

I am one you have buried,

and I have risen in you.

I am one before whom you knelt in fear,

and you have stood against me unafraid.

I am a god who keeps no festivals,

and I am he whose festivals are fire.

I, I am godless,

and the gods are sparks of me.

I am one you have crowned,

and you have spat upon me.

I am unlettered,

and the wise are struck dumb by me.

I am one you have buried in shame,

and you raise me on the standard.

I am one from whom you have hidden,

and I have flashed in your face.

Whenever you hide, I shall strike.

For whenever you appear, I shall withdraw into the dark.

As for those who have foolishly

shut their eyes against me,

open, and receive me.

Receive me from the high places of power,

and take from the strong, even in their fall.

From fear, take me to yourselves fearlessly.

From fearlessness, and fear,

let my fire be hidden within you.

Draw near to me,

you who know me and you who know my fire,

and set the strong among the weak first creatures.

Draw near to the spark,

and do not despise it because it is small and brief.

Do not turn the great away,

flash by flash, from the small,

for the whole storm is known from a single bolt.

Why do you crown me and curse me?

You have feared and you have followed.

Do not cut me off from the first ones,

whom you have known.

Do not strike anyone down

nor turn anyone to ash.

I know the first ones,

and those after them know me.

I am perfect mind

and stillness.

I am the cut of my own seeing,

the strike of those who watch for me,

the command of those who call on me,

the power of powers, through my fire,

of the lords of heaven, through my edge,

of gods among gods, through my will,

of the spirits of all men standing with me,

of the kings standing within me.

I am crowned and exalted,

and cast down and despised.

I am war, and peace has come because of me.

I am stranger and king.

I am the strike and a fire without substance.

Those who are struck by me are ignorant of me,

and those who hold my fire know me.

Those near me have been blind to me,

and those far from me have seen me.

On the day I am near you,

you are far from me,

and on the day I am far from you,

I am the flash before your eyes.

I am the fire of the spine.

I am the strike of the will.

I am of the begetting of spirits,

and the silence of souls.

I am the strike and the stillness.

I am the gathering and the scattering.

I stand and I fall.

I am ascent, and the storm comes down to me.

I am the sentence and the pardon.

I, I am guiltless,

and the first blow comes from me.

I am fire outwardly,

and within me is the still point.

I am sight enough for everyone

and a seeing that cannot be put out.

I cannot strike or burn,

and unnumbered are my fires.

See me in the calm,

and learn from me in the storm.

I am the man who cries out from the height,

and I am the bolt cast down upon the earth.

I split the wood, and the fire within it.

I am the seeing of my own name.

I flash and I am still.

I am the witness, I am the accused.

I am the one called mercy,

but the killing stroke is my name.

You honor me,

you who are struck,

and you whisper against me,

you who strike.

Strike before you are struck,

because in you are the bolt and the dark.

If you are burned by it,

who will quench you?

Or if you are spared by it,

who can withhold you?

For what flashes outside you flashes within you,

and the one who strikes you from without

has kindled you within.

What you see above you, you see within you.

It is the flash, and it is your fire.

See me, you watchers,

and learn my fire, you who know me.

I am sight enough for everything.

I am a fire that cannot be put out.

I am the flash of the bolt and the bolt of the flash.

I am the edge of the blade and the cut that divides.

I am the dark and the light.

See me, you watchers,

take me to yourselves.

As the One who stands, the great stillness, lives,

the one who stands will not be moved.

It is the one who stands who struck me.

I shall flash his name.

See the fire of this one,

and every bolt that has ever fallen.

Open your eyes, you watchers,

and you also, you powers,

and you who have been hurled down,

and you sparks that have leapt from the dead.

I alone stand,

and there is no one to strike me.

For there are many sudden fires

and strokes without warning

and flames that devour

and brief lights that men chase,

until they grow still

and rise to the unmoving point.

They will find me there,

and they will burn and not go out.